Today I told the truth and, yes, it set me free.
You’ve heard that many times, I imagine, in the training room and elsewhere. I bet you’ve experienced it for yourself many more times than that! And today I experienced it yet again.
First of all, I want to apologize for being ‘quiet’ on this blog for two weeks +. Since Brad’s death, I’ve been quite reflective and at times, simply withdrawn. It’s been a lot to absorb / process / deal with. The services in California were particularly comforting and opening for me. I believe they were for many others as well. Perhaps you’ve been in your own process around this organizational lifeshock. What have you noticed? Have you been feeling your feelings? Is it helpful to hear another human being say, “This is big for me!” ?
Now, to flesh out the rest of the picture of why I’ve not posted, I’ve had some difficult lifeshocks around other topics recently. I’ve been using the processes of this program and getting loving and skilled support. It’s been an ‘up and down’ time for me personally.
Today, however, after an extended clearing process and a very connecting conversation, it seems that I am back inside myself in a new and full way. I feel different in my body – calm and yet excited. Open and ready. The picture I have is one of putting on a new set of clothes that are somewhat too large but you know you’re growing into them. I’m growing into this new ‘octave’ of personal authority and learning.
When I thought about starting this blog post, I found I was so excited about communicating all of this with and to you! My genuine want is to communicate with you in community. For how can we have one without the other?
Perhaps there is some resonance for you in what I share. If so, and if there’s something you’re willing to share with us all, please post a comment.
That’s it for me today.
Soon there will be more about what’s going on in our organization. An upcoming Board meeting. Exciting results within the new coaching program. The latest on the Makens campaign. Our challenges. Our wins. Our community.
With gratitude,
Peggy
1 comments:
A few weeks ago I said yes to being a part of creating a “Remembrance of Brad Brown” event in Atlanta. At the time, I thought that such a simple thing would certainly not take much time, and Elaine Alpert, Sara Michelson, and I would bring something this “simple” off without a hitch. Well, a few days of phone calls between the three of us and I called Elaine, jokingly and said, “I wasn’t expecting any Lifeshocks while we’re doing this. I quit.” And then we laughed.
And the reality is, I really didn’t think about the Lifeshocks that would come. After all, this wasn’t like saying “Yes” to being TS of a training.
So now, the day after the event, I am sitting, listening to the “Song of the Seas” by Vangelis, and I imagine I can hear Brad Brown and in his wonderful voice he asks, “So Stuart, what did you get?”
Well Brad, I got so much more than I expected. I got reconnected to this work. I connected with you, even though you are no longer here. I reconnected with people that I have not seen in years and we cried and shared our joy and sadness.
“And what else did you get?”
I became more conscious of my thoughts and words and my personal choices. I got reminded of how I really can be. I got reminded of my true self. The me that “sees” and the me that “listens”. The me that loves.
“Oh, is that all?” My imagined Brad says, and laughs, and we laugh together.
Stuart Martin
10/08/07
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