A Message from Anne Brown

Dear Friends and Fellow More To Life Students,

As Briggy and I have talked to several of you about coming to Brad’s Memorial Service, some misunderstandings have emerged, which I want to clear up. Soon after Brad’s death, word got out that we were having a private, family-only funeral and that the Memorial Service would be a More To Life event, similar to those being held in many communities.

This miscommunication is actually my doing. Because the service was set for a month after Brad died (so that as many family and as many of you as possible could make arrangements to come here), I called it a Memorial Service, though in point of fact it will be a funeral. The family-only part will be the scattering of his ashes at a later date. I feel very sad for the mix-up, because a number of you apparently decided not to come based on that information.

I want also to give you a picture of what will be happening next Saturday and tell you the context so that those of you coming will have it and those of you still deciding whether or not to come will know what to expect. The 11 a.m. service at the church is going to be a fairly traditional Episcopal funeral with holy communion. Why not something more general or eclectic or Brad-centered? The most straightforward answer is that it’s what feels most comforting, “right,” completing, and healing to me. It’s the tradition I grew up in, and it’s Brad’s tradition. We met at All Soul’s Episcopal Church in Berkeley where he was the Rector, or priest-in-charge. It’s the service we had for Brad’s son, Kenny, for his first wife, LoRayne, for my dad and my sister, and on and on.

There’s a larger context than just the personal, important as that is. This service will put Brad’s life and death (and by extension all of ours) into the context of Third Force. The words and music will point to the belief, the hope, the faith that we are not alone, that it’s not all up to us, and that we can trust the process. The words of the service and hymns will speak of God’s love, of forgiveness, of grace, and of the new possibilities and new life that come with our “Yes.” We will not only be affirming that for ourselves, on this side of death, but will be entrusting Brad to that process.

I am hoping that the service will be Spirit-filled, as often happens on Sunday morning of the MTL weekend, after the meditation. I am hoping that the hymns, while containing some wording that may seem strange or foreign, will nonetheless be an opportunity to open our throats, breathe deeply, and open our hearts.

The version of the communion service that we will be using is one that Brad particularly liked. Anyone “who hungers for God’s love” is invited to take communion, and there will be instructions on how to do that for those of you who are not familiar with it but want to partake.

Roy will be preaching the sermon, but no one else will be speaking about Brad. We’re leaving that for the remembrance gathering. At the reception/remembrance gathering after the service, which Ann Mc will be planning, there will be an opportunity for memories, acknowledgements of Brad, songs, poems, whatever wants to come forth and be expressed by way of completion and connection. We’re hoping for another Spirit-filled occasion!

I want to give you just one more heads-up about context. In attendance will be many people who are not part of the More To Life community. There will be family, neighbors, friends of Joel’s and Kai’s, maybe Brad’s doctor and caregivers. Many of them will be unfamiliar with MTL. I want us all to be sensitive to that and avoid jargon or “inside-out talk.” At the same time, I am looking forward to having them hear what a big contribution their dad, friend, neighbor made to so many people and to the world.

For those of you coming, I want you to know that your presence will mean a lot to me and to the rest of Brad’s family. For those of you still wavering, please come!!!

With much love, honor and respect,
Anne